For example, you are always misunderstood and ridiculed by others, which leads to a bad mood. You don’t know how to vent your emotions reasonably. What should you do?
Here are what can help you handle negative emotions.
1. Don’t feel burdened when expressing your opposition. Because it’s not just “venting emotions”, you’re also using it to clear the boundaries between you and the other person. Most of the time, people’s jokes are not malicious.
2. First of all, I would like to teach you a sentence pattern for effective expression of emotions in nonviolent communication: Observe-Feel-Need-Request. For example, when the other person’s ridicule hurts you, you can say, “You just said… (observation), I think this joke is not funny at all but makes me feel hurt (feeling), I’m very bad about it. Sensitive and small-minded (need), I hope you will not make similar jokes in the future (request) “.
3. Begin to accept some of your weaknesses. Think about your sensitivity to ridicule. Is it because it hits your soft spot, something you don’t want to accept or want to hide? So it’s a process of discovering wounds and healing.
4. One way to accept yourself is to make concessions to gain advantages and develop the spirit and ability to laugh at yourself.
5. Think about what point they are often ridiculed, and then associated with a new perspective and value. For example, a headhunter will introduce himself and say: I am characterized by small eyes, but I read people very accurately, I recommend candidates with a particularly high probability of success …… This is one of the simplest techniques, that is, first to say their weaknesses, followed by a point of self-aggrandizement, the two do not even need to have any logical relationship, but it will make you relaxed while making yourself confident. Try more, your heart will slowly be strong.
6. People’s “misunderstandings” or “stereotypes” of you can also be used as a point of self-deprecation. For example, a boy, because of the characteristics of his appearance, has been called a “hippie smile” since childhood. Although the person who said this is not malicious, he hates being called that all the time. Later, he found a way to make himself comfortable and make others happy—he would tell people: “Since elementary school, teachers have labeled me as a hippie smiley face, which I especially resent because I just like to smile and because I happen to have small eyes, and because I’m a guy, I always give the impression that illusion of hippie smile. As long as one of these three conditions (like laughing, small eyes, and a man) is not satisfied, I will not always be called a hippie smile. Sometimes, misunderstandings can also be explained humorously.
7. If other people’s opinions and verbal sarcasm have caused you long-term troubles, which cannot be resolved temporarily, you also need to find activities or habits that can restore your inner peace in times of emotional crisis: for example, some People are running, eating, watching movies, talking to good friends, playing with pets… Some people recall their goals and values, because when they know who they are and what they are pursuing, the blows and Taunt, the negative impact on you will be less. Don’t forget that effective action is also a way to “vent” your emotions, that is, to respond to others’ ridicule with strength and results.